Lately I have been finding my self second guess everything and letting fear rule my life. There is so much unknown things in my life right now, that I find myself getting scared and wanting to step back and get away, but this is not good! I have always had a tendancy in my life that when something is good, that I start to push it away. And I find myself doing that now and I need to stop! I have been second guessing myself and different spiritual experiences I have had and personal revelation giving to me wondering if my Heavenly Father really did give me those feelings, or if its all been in my head the entire time, because after all the mind is a very powerful thing!
So with all these things running through my head, I went to a ward activity Friday night, a Book of Mormon read-a-thon, hoping that I would get some sort of peaceful feeling or know what is right and settle these feelings going on with in me that I had only told my mom about. We met at 6:30pm to start this activity. They fed us dinner and then we were separated into groups to start our reading. The goal was to finish the whole Book of Mormon that night. We start reading and not too far into reading someone read Helaman 5:26. This verse stuck out to me more then any other verse. It said, "... Fear not, for behold, it is God that has shown unto you this marvelous thing..." When that scripture was read I knew that what I had been questioning and fearing I shouldn't be and that it those spiritual experiences I had had were from God and I hadn't made them up in my mind because its what I wanted. That scripture is exactly what I needed to hear at this time in my life.
We went on with the read-a-thon all night long. Reading for a couple of hours and then taking a break. We did this until 6:40am. I was SOO tired and was having a hard time still reading the last hour of this experience, but I was determined to get the most out of it as I could. I did not get to bed until 7am, but it was well worth it. The whole night was such a spiritual uplifting experience and something that I was in great need of. And although I was physically exhausted, I was spiritually fit and felt as though I could face anything thrown my way. I will never forget this experience and the feeling that was felt. I know that the Lord will answer the questions of your heart. He did for me, so He will for you too! He loves us and doesn't want us to question things happening in our lives. We just have to trust in him, because He knows what is going to happen in our lives and what we need.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
One rough week...
This past week was a very rough week. It seemed like one thing after another kept popping up into my life. But I got through it. Here is what went down:
Ok so I was on an amazing high from the weekend before, and I knew this week was going to be stressful with 2 mid term exams, and some major assignments due in my classes, but I was in such a happy, loving, life state that I thought I could get through this. No big deal. Well that was until tuesday night rolled around.
So my ward had scheduled a temple trip that night to go and do baptisms. I was so excited because I had not yet been to the Provo temple! So it comes time to go meet up with the ward and I come skipping down the stairs as I see a girl on the phone standing next to my car. As I look closer I see that something is not quite right. ..
When I go over to my car, the door and part of the frame was all dented in and scraped up. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there and eventually said, "Um.. this is my car." The girl came over and "said" she had left her car in neutral not realizing it and ran back in to get an address she had written down and that her car had just "rolled" and hit my car (only problem is this is not possible. Where she is parked, when your car is in neutral, it rolls forward into the curb, not backward. And definitely wouldn't do all the damage it did to my car. We tested it). I was very calm and told her it was ok and just a car that could get fixed (or hopefully will and look brand new again).
For those of you who know me know that I LOVE my car. I do everything possible to make sure that nothing happens to it. I will park way out in the boonies at parking lots so nobody will park next to me and ding my door. So although I acted calm towards her inside I kept thinking "OH MY GOSH!!! Thats my car! Thats my car! Its just a car... ya thats right just a car... but its MY car."
I went to the temple still even though I was debating not going anymore with this happening, but decided I should still go and that Satan was just doing his best to have me not go.
So the rest of the week was pretty stressful. I studied my butt of and did a ton of assignments. I talked with my mom a ton and she helped me get through it. I also talked with Rex, and he did a GREAT job at helping me take my mind off of everything, especially tuesday night when everything started feeling like the world was crashing down. :)
So what did I learn this week? Well I will tell ya. I learned that sometimes in life you just have to remember that everything that happens in your life happens for a reason, even if you don't know what that reason is for yet. Our Heavenly Father loves us, and is mindful of us, and is always there waiting and ready to comfort us if we just pray and ask for his comfort. Don't ever forget that!!
Ok so I was on an amazing high from the weekend before, and I knew this week was going to be stressful with 2 mid term exams, and some major assignments due in my classes, but I was in such a happy, loving, life state that I thought I could get through this. No big deal. Well that was until tuesday night rolled around.
So my ward had scheduled a temple trip that night to go and do baptisms. I was so excited because I had not yet been to the Provo temple! So it comes time to go meet up with the ward and I come skipping down the stairs as I see a girl on the phone standing next to my car. As I look closer I see that something is not quite right. ..
When I go over to my car, the door and part of the frame was all dented in and scraped up. I didn't know what to do. I just stood there and eventually said, "Um.. this is my car." The girl came over and "said" she had left her car in neutral not realizing it and ran back in to get an address she had written down and that her car had just "rolled" and hit my car (only problem is this is not possible. Where she is parked, when your car is in neutral, it rolls forward into the curb, not backward. And definitely wouldn't do all the damage it did to my car. We tested it). I was very calm and told her it was ok and just a car that could get fixed (or hopefully will and look brand new again).
For those of you who know me know that I LOVE my car. I do everything possible to make sure that nothing happens to it. I will park way out in the boonies at parking lots so nobody will park next to me and ding my door. So although I acted calm towards her inside I kept thinking "OH MY GOSH!!! Thats my car! Thats my car! Its just a car... ya thats right just a car... but its MY car."
I went to the temple still even though I was debating not going anymore with this happening, but decided I should still go and that Satan was just doing his best to have me not go.
So the rest of the week was pretty stressful. I studied my butt of and did a ton of assignments. I talked with my mom a ton and she helped me get through it. I also talked with Rex, and he did a GREAT job at helping me take my mind off of everything, especially tuesday night when everything started feeling like the world was crashing down. :)
So what did I learn this week? Well I will tell ya. I learned that sometimes in life you just have to remember that everything that happens in your life happens for a reason, even if you don't know what that reason is for yet. Our Heavenly Father loves us, and is mindful of us, and is always there waiting and ready to comfort us if we just pray and ask for his comfort. Don't ever forget that!!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
A much needed weekend!
This weekend was a very needed weekend! And a great one at that! So much happened that I cant say it all or I would majorly bore you to death! This still might even be too long and you may or may not lose focus and just stop reading all together :) Well .. . here it goes.
Me and my roommates had decided after getting back from Christmas break that we would go to my home town Presidents Day weekend, for one because thats halfway through the semester and a break would be needed, and two Rex had gotten home from his mission and I really wanted to see him :)
So we left Friday morning on our 8 1/2 hour trek to Happy Holbrook! The whole way home we sang songs, never repeating a single one! Lets just say by the time we got there, our throats hurt just a little. .. :) But hey, it was fun :)
As soon as we unloaded my car, me, my roommates, and my parents went out to each at El Rancho (You have to have mexican food when you go home, because lets face it, Utah does not have real mexican food). So we ate some yummy food and had some fried ice cream to top it off! Rex texted me when we were almost done, and the plan was to pick him up when he got home, little did I know that I wasn't really going to be picking him up..
So I go home to brush my teeth and get my car to go pick up Rex, but when I start walking around to the side, someone popped out and screamed! It scared the crap out of me and I yelled! It ended up being Rex so it was ok :) We hugged and it was good, but I was very close to hitting him before I found out it was him.
Man this is going to be a long post . . . Oh well! :)
So that night we hung out and played basketball at the church! It was there when I once again realized that I am not good at basketball. I would just grab people so they couldn't shoot. And I am pretty sure I only made maybe like 4 shots. But thats ok because it was fun. We then returned to my house and played with quarters, and watched 17 Miracles (a great movie that all should watch).
Saturday morning we met up at Rex's barn to go ride horses. I learned how to sattle a horse and all of that good stuff. His dad gave me his favorite horse, babe, and that made me feel special. We ended up riding for around 5 miles which was a lot of fun and the weather couldn't have been more perfect! It was sad when it came to an end though, because that meant I would have to say goodbye.
I have learned since going to college that I do not particularly like "goodbyes". They are just sad and not cool! I always have to remind myself that its not for forever and I will see them again, even if its not as soon as I would like it to be. But its sad and hard non the less. So me and Rex said our goodbye and left.
To sum up the rest of the weekend, we got Dairy Queen, sat on my roof looking at stars, went to church, went and looked at the Snowflake temple, and just hung out. It was a great weekend that I didn't want to come to an end!
But the lesson learned from this trip is that friends and family make everything seem great! When you are with them, nothing seems to matter. You can be yourself around them and just have a good time. But leaving is never easy. One might think that eventually you would get to the point that leaving and saying your goodbye's would get easier the longer you have been away, but this is not the case for me. Even when being away from home for almost a year now, I still get emotional when it comes time to leave. I just have to remind myself that I will get to spend eternity with them so this is just a small moment in time. I can do this!
PS. Pictures will come soon :)
Me and my roommates had decided after getting back from Christmas break that we would go to my home town Presidents Day weekend, for one because thats halfway through the semester and a break would be needed, and two Rex had gotten home from his mission and I really wanted to see him :)
So we left Friday morning on our 8 1/2 hour trek to Happy Holbrook! The whole way home we sang songs, never repeating a single one! Lets just say by the time we got there, our throats hurt just a little. .. :) But hey, it was fun :)
As soon as we unloaded my car, me, my roommates, and my parents went out to each at El Rancho (You have to have mexican food when you go home, because lets face it, Utah does not have real mexican food). So we ate some yummy food and had some fried ice cream to top it off! Rex texted me when we were almost done, and the plan was to pick him up when he got home, little did I know that I wasn't really going to be picking him up..
So I go home to brush my teeth and get my car to go pick up Rex, but when I start walking around to the side, someone popped out and screamed! It scared the crap out of me and I yelled! It ended up being Rex so it was ok :) We hugged and it was good, but I was very close to hitting him before I found out it was him.
Man this is going to be a long post . . . Oh well! :)
So that night we hung out and played basketball at the church! It was there when I once again realized that I am not good at basketball. I would just grab people so they couldn't shoot. And I am pretty sure I only made maybe like 4 shots. But thats ok because it was fun. We then returned to my house and played with quarters, and watched 17 Miracles (a great movie that all should watch).
Saturday morning we met up at Rex's barn to go ride horses. I learned how to sattle a horse and all of that good stuff. His dad gave me his favorite horse, babe, and that made me feel special. We ended up riding for around 5 miles which was a lot of fun and the weather couldn't have been more perfect! It was sad when it came to an end though, because that meant I would have to say goodbye.
I have learned since going to college that I do not particularly like "goodbyes". They are just sad and not cool! I always have to remind myself that its not for forever and I will see them again, even if its not as soon as I would like it to be. But its sad and hard non the less. So me and Rex said our goodbye and left.
To sum up the rest of the weekend, we got Dairy Queen, sat on my roof looking at stars, went to church, went and looked at the Snowflake temple, and just hung out. It was a great weekend that I didn't want to come to an end!
But the lesson learned from this trip is that friends and family make everything seem great! When you are with them, nothing seems to matter. You can be yourself around them and just have a good time. But leaving is never easy. One might think that eventually you would get to the point that leaving and saying your goodbye's would get easier the longer you have been away, but this is not the case for me. Even when being away from home for almost a year now, I still get emotional when it comes time to leave. I just have to remind myself that I will get to spend eternity with them so this is just a small moment in time. I can do this!
PS. Pictures will come soon :)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
I am a major slacker... :/
Ok go ahead and say it. . . I am a slacker when it comes to writing my blog! I know! But I hope to get better hopefully and get better about posting what happens weekly throughout my life. I started this blog hoping to update it weekly to keep people updated on my life at college. And as you can see that has not really happened all too well :) But thats ok. Right?
So, a lot has happened since July when I last posted. I don't even know where to start! Life has been a major roller coaster that is for sure, but you know, I would not change a thing that has happened to me this past few semesters. All have been a major learning experience in my life and helped me mature and grow up. So for that I am grateful. I will spare you the boring details, because I know you would fall asleep or say, "Ya. Ya. Ya. We got it. Life sucks sometimes who cares!" All you need to know is that I am alive and doing well :) haha.
But can I just tell you that trying to find an apartment to live in for Fall semester which is like what, 6 months away, is SUPER stressful and dumb! I mean come on! Who in their right mind signs contracts that soon! Oh thats right, all the over achievers at BYU!!! Goodness! So now I am stuck trying to find some where to live with the uncertainty of whether or not I will even be at BYU next Fall. Its just lame! But oh well.
Its moments like these that I just have to take a step back and say to myself, "God knows the path which I should go down, He will lead me to where I need to be. And He will always be with me through all these stressful times." So why do I worry sometimes so bad when I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and is watching over me? I just need to put my trust in Him at all times and know that things will work out the way that He wants them to.
So, a lot has happened since July when I last posted. I don't even know where to start! Life has been a major roller coaster that is for sure, but you know, I would not change a thing that has happened to me this past few semesters. All have been a major learning experience in my life and helped me mature and grow up. So for that I am grateful. I will spare you the boring details, because I know you would fall asleep or say, "Ya. Ya. Ya. We got it. Life sucks sometimes who cares!" All you need to know is that I am alive and doing well :) haha.
But can I just tell you that trying to find an apartment to live in for Fall semester which is like what, 6 months away, is SUPER stressful and dumb! I mean come on! Who in their right mind signs contracts that soon! Oh thats right, all the over achievers at BYU!!! Goodness! So now I am stuck trying to find some where to live with the uncertainty of whether or not I will even be at BYU next Fall. Its just lame! But oh well.
Its moments like these that I just have to take a step back and say to myself, "God knows the path which I should go down, He will lead me to where I need to be. And He will always be with me through all these stressful times." So why do I worry sometimes so bad when I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and is watching over me? I just need to put my trust in Him at all times and know that things will work out the way that He wants them to.
Monday, July 25, 2011
. . .
This past week has not been the best week ever. It started out good. . . but quickly came to an end. While at self defense monday morning, I was practicing my mad skills I have learned so far when the other persons knee jabbed into my ribs. I just laid on the ground crying and unable to breath or make any sudden movements, because if I did the sharpest pain would shoot through me. Come to find out I cracked my ribs. And let me tell you, cracked ribs suck! They hurt so bad and just make things so not fun!
So after cracking my ribs I still had things that had to be done that week. I had a research paper I had to do and a ton of other homework. The pain was so bad I never even wanted to do any of it because I could never focus on my work. I eventually got it all done, but it took way longer then it should have.
Thats basically how my whole week was. But yesterday (sunday), I decided to make my aunt Melanie's homemade tortellini. I slaved away in the kitchen for a while preparing it all. My roommate, Sarah, would help out a little every once in a while, but I am weird when it comes to baking and like to do it myself so I know that it gets done right. But it turned out amazing!!! All the work of doing it was well worth it! I have almost decided that I really just want to bake. I love doing it! Plus I have always had that in the back of my mind, but lately more and more that is what I am leaning towards doing. The only problem is that BYU doesn't offer any type of cooking classes or anything really, so I need to go and talk to the a guidance aid and see what there is I can do. So we will see :)
Sunday, July 17, 2011
BYU life :)
So it has officially been forever and a half since I have posted anything up on here. I was planning on posting my saluditorian speech after graduation and as you can tell, that never happened :) Then after my parents and I went to Hawaii I was going to post . . and again, never happened. Then once I got up here to BYU I decided that I really for sure I was going to post, and as you can see its just barely happening. So i'm slackin a little bit . . . but its ok :) Here is a small update on SOME of the things I have done while being up here so far.
I have been at BYU now for a month almost exactly, and I am still trying to adjust to college life. Its a lot harder then you think it would be. At first I thought I was going to take it all in. I hiked up to the Y and 12:30am and didn't get home tell close to 3:30am which probably wasn't the best of choices, but it was very memorable and the view from the top of the Y is AMAZING!!!!
I went on a lunch date with a guy who I thought was super sweet and very cute (well he still is cute). We had talked quite a few times and hung out and what not but never exchanged numbers so he showed up at my dorm on a sunday after noon to get my number. It was so sweet! The next day is when he called me after class to go get lunch, which I thought was so awesome! But like most guys I find myself associated with, he ended up being not as sweet as I thought. It ended up that he has had a girl friend for a few months or so. And the worst part is I didn't even find it out from him, I found it out through my roommates and my friends. Ya he was a player. Who would have thought that even at BYU there would still be those type of guys around? Not me!!
Other then being super stressed with having mid terms this past week, trying to find new friends that I mesh with, and adjusting to living on my own, college has been a great experience! And hopefully it will continue to get better and better! I swear I am going to be better about posting on here! Or at least that is the plan :)
I have been at BYU now for a month almost exactly, and I am still trying to adjust to college life. Its a lot harder then you think it would be. At first I thought I was going to take it all in. I hiked up to the Y and 12:30am and didn't get home tell close to 3:30am which probably wasn't the best of choices, but it was very memorable and the view from the top of the Y is AMAZING!!!!
I went on a lunch date with a guy who I thought was super sweet and very cute (well he still is cute). We had talked quite a few times and hung out and what not but never exchanged numbers so he showed up at my dorm on a sunday after noon to get my number. It was so sweet! The next day is when he called me after class to go get lunch, which I thought was so awesome! But like most guys I find myself associated with, he ended up being not as sweet as I thought. It ended up that he has had a girl friend for a few months or so. And the worst part is I didn't even find it out from him, I found it out through my roommates and my friends. Ya he was a player. Who would have thought that even at BYU there would still be those type of guys around? Not me!!
Other then being super stressed with having mid terms this past week, trying to find new friends that I mesh with, and adjusting to living on my own, college has been a great experience! And hopefully it will continue to get better and better! I swear I am going to be better about posting on here! Or at least that is the plan :)
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Simple things can effect a lot!!
So last weekend we moved my sister into a new house. She lived in a 2 story house and most of the house was on the 2nd story, which as you could imagine, wasnt the most convenient for her husband who has had multiple stokes. But her new house is AMAZING and beautiful! Its all one story and open. So now her husband can go anywhere he wishes.
For those of you that dont know, moving isnt the funnest thing in the world. It gets very old very fast! We started at 7 in the morning and loaded everything up (well everyone else did, I was busy trying to entertain a 19 month old). To make a long story short . . . We moved her :) But the neat thing was when we had basically moved everything in, her husband Roy started crying. Not knowing what was wrong, we asked him if he was ok and he replied with a simple smile and a nod of the head. He was so happy to have some more independence and not have to rely on others to help him do everything!
In life we take the simple things for granite like tying your shoes, getting out of bed by yourself, walking, talking, and so much more that when you see someone who was so independent become someone who heavily relies on you for everything, it makes you stop and think of how blessed we truly are. Something so simple as being able to get places by himself made him cry. We need to take a step back when we think life is tough and say to ourselves, "It could be so much worse".
Life is so sacred and we should take advantage of everything we have, never taking anything for granite, because you never know when your life may end or drastically change.
For those of you that dont know, moving isnt the funnest thing in the world. It gets very old very fast! We started at 7 in the morning and loaded everything up (well everyone else did, I was busy trying to entertain a 19 month old). To make a long story short . . . We moved her :) But the neat thing was when we had basically moved everything in, her husband Roy started crying. Not knowing what was wrong, we asked him if he was ok and he replied with a simple smile and a nod of the head. He was so happy to have some more independence and not have to rely on others to help him do everything!
In life we take the simple things for granite like tying your shoes, getting out of bed by yourself, walking, talking, and so much more that when you see someone who was so independent become someone who heavily relies on you for everything, it makes you stop and think of how blessed we truly are. Something so simple as being able to get places by himself made him cry. We need to take a step back when we think life is tough and say to ourselves, "It could be so much worse".
Life is so sacred and we should take advantage of everything we have, never taking anything for granite, because you never know when your life may end or drastically change.
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